ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT CONGRATULATIONS!

It is still common for the man to ask his girl to marry him and present her with an engagement ring. (Only in a leap year it is acceptable for the woman to do the asking). The engagement ring represents the couple’s promise of a future together. In former times when the groom had to pay a ‘bride price’ to his prospective bride’s father, the engagement ring was seen as part payment of this price.

Only in relatively recent times is it that we have seen the return of diamonds as the preferred stone for engagement rings (post WW2 saw the DeBeers diamond company launch a huge ‘diamonds are forever’ advertising campaign). Evidence of using diamonds in engagement rings goes back to ancient Greece and Rome: - the Greeks believing them to be tears from the Gods, and the Romans thought they were splinters from the falling stars that tipped Eros’ (God of love) arrows.

These days, even though the traditional length of an engagement is six months, people usually set the date of their wedding to suit in with their plans, rather than following this tradition of time. It is during the engagement that the planning of the wedding and events leading up to it (the engagement party, kitchen tea, hen’s night, buck’s night etc.) takes place.

Once a couple is engaged it is no longer required that the man ask the father of his bride-to-be for his daughter’s hand in marriage; though some still choose to do so by way of an informal chat. The next step is informing both sides of their immediate family of the impending wedding. After both sides of the family have been informed, the pair then usually spreads the news amongst their extended families and friends, either through various phone calls, emails and public announcement through the newspaper.

For those couples choosing to make a public announcement in their local newspapers, the traditional wording follows as such:

- Either the names of bride’s parents, then the name of their daughter, followed by the groom’s parent’s names, and then the names of the happy couple (or some version of this).

- Or the name of the bride’s parents followed by the groom’s parents name, then the name of the engaged couple (bride first).

- It is the bride’s family who normally pay for this notice. In cases where there are blended families or it is not the first marriage for one or the other of the parties, then you need to check with all parties to ensure the wording is right.

- In most cases the happy couple choose to have an engagement party which can either be small or large, formal or informal; however the general rule is that even though the guest list for this affair will be smaller than that of the wedding, it is in bad taste to invite somebody to your engagement party and then not be inviting them to your wedding.

Don’t forget that, regardless of the engagement party, it is important to have some sort of easy going rapport between the in-laws to be (parents of bride and groom), so it is a good idea to organize some sort of meet up, if they don’t know each other yet. It is best done in an informal setting, such as a barbeque or dinner at either the bride’s or groom’s place (or their shared abode if they are already living together), rather than a formal restaurant where everybody is on their best behaviour.

Happy Engagement, Bridey Belle.